I put the cushions on the bed today. This was a big step! Really, it was worthy of comment. I have been doing a massive spring clean, the clean of a lifetime. I have not just done a little paper shuffling, nor even dusting, I have cleared the furniture and checked to see that nothing wobbles before slowly reassembling. It has got to the messy part where there are remnants of the shake down loitering. The really big thing is that this was not a physical spring clean - it was emotional and mental.
I had got to the stage where my depression was taking over and, as I mentioned, I decided to take control. I did some tough work, then decided to take time off from reality to assimilate my lessons and be kind to myself.
I feel as if I have come back from the most massive holiday and now is the time to effect the physical changes. The year off from worry has stretch but I can postpone reality no longer. This time has been great, I have found contentment as well as happiness. It is slightly scary, the prospect of coming out from my cocoon, but I can do it.
To maintain the change I never bit off more than I could chew. I did basic housework so we could function as a family: floors were mopped, bathroom cleaned and clothes were washed - but I focused on the easily achievable.
I am now ready for more, I am ready to stop hiding. The cliche says that every journey starts with a single step and mine started with putting my cushions back on my made up bed.